This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.

In Your Garden, my Lord

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I am not a singer but I Love to Sing.

Dedicated to everyone I love.

Thank you my angel voice Driek - and in this case, my steady cameramen - for making this possible.

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posted by Milena at 4:59 AM 0 comments

Let me rock You

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Let me rock you, baby
into the arms of the angels

Let me rock you, baby
with the whisper of the wind

Let me rock you, baby
in the presence of this moment

Let me rock you, baby
because there is not a moment
I am not with you

Just let me gently rock You.

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posted by Milena at 8:00 AM 0 comments

Snow covered hut

Friday, April 10, 2009

I went to explore the forest of the mountain Macaion during my holiday in Italy at Eastern. I knew that the amount of snow fallen in winter provoked the fall of many trees and damaged the sweet hut where I spent precious, meditative time in summer, in utter solitude. Paolo already told me it would be impossible to sleep in the little cozy cabin in this season. I wanted to check out by myself the damage and bring my homage to the holy place of my summer retreats.

I parked my car at the beginning of the dirt trek and armed with snowshoes, snow stick, some food and water, up I went just to stop 50 meter after the start. And so it went, every 50 meter or at times one after the other, huge trees were blocking the path. I had to climb them or walk around, put on and off constantly my snowshoes. With a smile of my face, I felt totally in tune with my beloved forest, the birds and the sound of the reek streaming down soothed my soul. I gave myself a name for the day: Sweet Rambo Milena.

It took more then the double of the time it normally takes to the hut. As soon as I saw the opening where the little cabin stands my heart felt instantly a deep recognition and an incredible sweet feeling of Love and of Belonging.
After a well deserved rest, an hour lying down in the only place, under a huge tree, not covered with snow, I made my way down. The mountain and the forest spoke to me with their silence and the natural sound of bird happily chirping, singing their joyful song to the Lord of Creation.
I was happy, in peace with myself, in deep preparation for this special almost mystical Easter I was experiencing inside.

Tired of the long walk and utterly wet till my calf for the sinking in the watery snow, I was also daydreaming for a warm rejuvenating bathtub.

I reached my car and tried to opened it. Surprise surprise....the key didn't go in. I look closer the lock was vandalized. In shock I went to the other door and found that lock even more ruined, the door completely crooked. The door opened by itself. I entered. Nothing was stolen from the car. It was pure vandalism for the sake of sick fun. My heart sank to my already soaked wet feet. I drove slowly home, arranged an appointment with the Carabinieri and felt furious, very angry and deeply hurt. I expect things like this in Amsterdam but not in my village.

The car as my house is a bit of an extension of my body. Anything that happened to them is directly hurting my body, more then 6 hours walk in heavy conditions. I felt covered over by those feelings and I was finding hard to have understanding and compassion with stranger who go around damaging cars and houses.
I finally entered the bath tap and prayed to let go of any hatred in me, to find peace again, and acceptance for the situation. "I can't go into Eastern with evil in my heart even though evil is out there and exist. I am not going to feed it with any of my energy."

I could finally fall asleep in peace and while everyone else of family and friends around were upset for days long I truly let go completely. My mechanic friend was so sensitive that managed to repair the damage "only" for E 250 instead of E 1000.
At the end I was lucky and I learned that every situation has an opportunity for uplifting your soul even the most terrible.

Two nights later a strong earthquake in the region of Abruzzo in Italy destroyed the life of many people and the houses of many more. There was much more to grieve then from my poor car.
That night without knowing anything while turning my head I hurt myself. I couldn't sleep anylongetr. At 6 am finally with my shoulder and back totally frozen I made myself a coffee. My mom turned the TV on and the truth hit me in waves of shock.
My heart reaches out to all the victims and survivors of this devastating earthquake. I pray they will be able to rebuild their lovely cities and villages and feel safe again.

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posted by Milena at 6:22 AM 1 comments