This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.

Paradise is here

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Today exactly one month after my birthday, the 27 September I gave myself the best present for my body anniversary.
It is more then a present, it is truly the grace of God that lead me to hike the Mount Luco, 26 years after the near death experience caused by a car hitting my body at 100 km an hour. A body that endured great pain to regain the ability to move again. A body that still is not free from discomfort, but all the aches and limitations are forgotten in a moment of ecstasy like today.
Because today, again after 26 years I made it to the top. And indeed it was the sweetest flight of my soul.

Milena on top of Mount Luco (Laugen Spitze)

I have no words to convey the depth of feelings I experience today when exhausted after a long strenuous hike in solitude, I embraced the cross on top of my most beloved mountain on earth.
I cried for a long time, sobbing like a baby for the overwhelming joy and intensity of blessings deep in my soul. I couldn't stop. Two German trekkers worried asked me: Ist es alles in Ordnung? ( are you all right?). After the third time they asked with a smile and my wet face I turned around and said "very all right!"

self made pix in the shadow of the cross

Nothing can compare to the magnitude I was feeling in my heart. I don't expect anyone to understand and it is really not important to be understood by others. I let go since long to that kind of emotional lullaby. The intimacy of my thoughts and the sincerity of my prayers are enough for me to fill me with delightful gratitude for the gift of being alive. Life is really, to me, an incredible journey and I must admit that His presence had been the best companion I could ever had. No lover, friend and family can ever bring you to the rich satisfaction of the longing to be in His arms.
Today that longing has melted a part of my heart that was hurting and for some delicate moments which felt like eternity, time stopped and I tasted paradise.

Heaven on earth, heaven on top of Mt. Luco.

My soul was kissed
and God danced with me

in the small place in my chest.

Oh how sweet is the taste of gratitude

which transforms the most bitter tears

in holy water,
purifying each thought
in a feast of sacredness
a bridal banquet
where the loved one
in the Beloved

and the rapture continues
A breathtaking view towards the Maddalene chain-the little Tibet -

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posted by Milena at 1:48 PM 4 comments

In each step

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I was walking along the beach in Zandvoort aan Zee the other day, with the sun, a gentle breeze and my own company. I realized a simple mystery.

I will always let go in the vastness of the ocean.

Have you ever tried to walk again
on your own footprint
on an empty long beach?

Each of our step is unique
full of its own individuality and life.
It cannot be duplicated.

Like the rise and fall of each wave
bringing with itself a new end and a new beginning
continuing its journey of letting go
into water

I decided long ago
to live my life to its fullness
emptying myself of the unnecessary
tuning the essential in the divine music of His presence

I will always let go in the vastness of the ocean

Milena Oct. 09


posted by Milena at 11:30 AM 0 comments

St. Francis of Assisi and my wedding

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Today, the 4th of October, I celebrate St Francis, my most beloved Saint, inspiring source of simple living, humble giving, merciful help, love of God, brother of all Creatures.

He never fails to answer me. His presence and example are deeply embedded in my heart, and take my soul to flights of deep longing.
Who knows, maybe, in one of my past lives, I was a simple friar following his step and praying with him. Or perhaps I was one of the sisters of St Clare, his beloved companion- in the purest sense- and founder of the Order of the Poor Ladies (commonly referred as the Poor Clares), the monastic religious order for woman in the Franciscan tradition.
It doesn't really matter, because the soul never dies and St. Francesco is here and now beating and filling my heart with tears of love.

My wedding anniversary
On the 15th of September I celebrated with my beloved Driek our second wedding anniversary. This poem is for us and all the lovers of God.

A wedding gift

I hear you singing, dear, inviting me to your limb,
I am coming, for all that we do
is a preparation for love.

I hear you singing, my Lord, inviting me to your throne.

We are coming, dear for all the toil we have blessed us with
is a preparation to know and hold the sacred.

I hear you singing, my soul, but can it be
that God's voice
has now become my own?

"That is just a wedding gift
for our
Divine Union,"

my Beloved

St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

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posted by Milena at 5:57 AM 0 comments