This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.

Thinking of you

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thinking of you
a secret shared

you will always remain
in the garden of my heart
like this flower's name
Forget me not.

Thank you for finding me
and letting me 
be your friend.

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posted by Milena at 8:17 AM 0 comments

In memoriam of my friend Gerhard O. Schwerdfeger

Saturday, November 13, 2010

To my dear Gerhard 
*03.05.1922 †09.11.2010

It was weeks I wanted to call you,
I thought of you everyday
the silence from your side made me wondering 
are you still with us beloved friend?
In some ways I knew no-one could pick up that phone
Now I cry for the loss
in pain for not being there to say goodbye.

Tears are running and won't stop.
I know you are taken care of
still the ache in my heart is unbearable 
for not having seen you one more time.
Words are not enough to say how much I miss you

 You said it so well:
"The rest is silence" (Shakespeare)
Your last email 31-7- 2010:

Dear Milena , 
ich bin seit gestern vorübergehend wieder zuhause und kann daher auch e- mailen . Es ist - dank auch Deiner lieben Fürbitten to  the Lord - alles recht gut abgelaufen! 
Ich bin sehr froh d a s  sagen zu dürfen ! Herzlichen Dank für Deine lb. Karten in beide Kliniken , sie haben mir sehr geholfen in dem Bewusstsein, Freunde zu haben, die sich um mein Hiersein Sorgen !!! - Ich bin bis Ende August h i e r , um dann für 14 Tage bis 3 Wochen in die Rekonvaleszenz nach Oberstaufen im Allgäu zu gehen , um mich dort  dann endgültig auszukurieren . 
Ich freue mich, dass Dein / Euer Pilger=tripp offensichtlich gut verlaufen ist und Du wieder in A - DAM erreichbar bist. Mit dem Wunsche für eine schönes Weekend verbleibe ich für heute
mit einem herzlichen Gruß und Love


I wish I could hold your hands one more time and look into your lively eyes and with a smile saying how much I love you. 
It will take a while to stop my tears running down my face at the thought of you not more with us.
May each of this tear 
take you peacefully and graciously in God's hands 
behind that door into the other side.
Finally resting
in divine silence.

We both love poetry and the life of Saints
we shared a sweet, deep friendship that will never be forgotten.
I hope you will remember me when you are with the Angels above

May you rest in deep peace my beloved Gerhard
till we meet again.

You loved R. M. Rilke so much. I found this for you:


"Der Tod ist groß
Wir sind die Seinen,
Lachenden Munds.
Wenn wir uns mitten im Leben meinen
Wagt er zu weinen
Mitten in uns."

(Rainer Maria Rilke 1875-1926)

crossing the bridge

"From sleep we wake 
and death shall be 
no more"
(John Donne 1572-1631)

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posted by Milena at 4:55 AM 1 comments

The Amsterdam Vocals in "Korenslag"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Actually I rarely endorse anything like that on my blog, but this time is different.
My beloved Driek is in fact singing with his choir, The Amsterdam Vocals in the "Korenslag" program.

The curriculum of Driek singing goes back to his childhood when he sang Mozart in a church choir and also when the primary school teacher were sending a note to his parents, saying that he disturbs the classroom with his constant humming and soft singing.
Personally I don't think there were ever any time when he wasn't singing. Sometimes I long for just silence....

Well I cheer for them on Saturday 13 of November 2010 on Ned 2 at 19.55.  Just after the day of his Birthday.  Do not miss it.

You can watch the show on the Korenslag website.

Fascinated as I am  by the life of Saints and what they did while they were alive, normal being on this earth, I found out that Saint Cecilia is the  saint patron of musicians. It is said that she sung to God when they were killing her  ( ca. 230 AD ). Talking af the Glory of singing. It helps transcend this mortal body with his aches and pains, if you know how to ......transcend it, whether you sing or listen to good music.
So my prayer flies to her to look after everyone who will perform on that night. May they all sing from their heart.

This poem is for my darling husband:

Sing Sing my darling, 
like the angel I know you are.
Sing in the dance of this moment,
celebrating the joy of a warm voice
reaching deep into my heart
soothing  the edgy corner of a demanding life
lifting my soul to heights 
were all else disappear.

Only the melody
 carrying me away
in the exquisite place where sounds and spirit meet 
And what remians
is just  His Harmony.

Milena Nov 2010

Milena and Driek singing during our wedding  Sept 2007
"Jackson" from Johnny Cash

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posted by Milena at 5:25 AM 0 comments