This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.

My life with Miracle of love. Kalindi passed away (part 8)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I have moved all the Miracle of love blog post to a dedicated site.
You can find this article on the new blog here: 

You can still read the comments made on this blog here.

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posted by Milena at 2:31 AM 5 comments

Stranded in the mountain: volcanic eruption, what an adventure!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I spent two weeks in my wonderful mountain in Italy at my birth place. Weeks with family and solitude walking, sometime alone, sometimes with my mom, in the forests still covered with snow.
Slowly in these two weeks  I saw spring unfolding, giving us all a hope for warm weather, finally after this cold and long winter all over Europe.

Last Thursday, the 15th of April, I was supposed to fly back from Verona airport to Amsterdam but  then it all started.
So many people all over the world were affected by the volcanic eruption in Iceland. What a call to wake up mother earth is sending us. I took it with grace. I was happy my beloved husband, who could not join me in this holiday, was safe home on Wednesday evening after flying from Baltimore to Amsterdam. If his flight would have been a day after he would have been stranded in the US, and I in Italy.
So at least one of us was home. And I was lucky to be informed by Driek on my way to the airport, a three hour drive, not to bother and to return to my parents house. Yes I am lucky.

I could go back, in my mountain home town, although slightly in shock and taking care of my aging dad. I had a strong feeling though it would not be solved easily. The earth erupting after 200 years in that particular location was going to effect not just few travelers and me but the whole wide big world.
I took it to heart and didn't complain. I watched online news  and  volcano amazing pictures.


I decided to lose my self even more in the forests and walk, walk, walk till the body was tired and then lying on the fresh new born grass watching the sky, clear of air trails for the first me since I remember.
Enjoying the cloud moving swiftly with wind changing forms and colors.
Feeling my body resting on this alpine meadow, feeling the warm embrace of mother earth and thinking that it is the same earth is spewing fire and ice from her deep roots.
Still I trust this incredible supporting element, still it is worth pondering how dependent we have become from our own comfort and way of traveling.
One day passes and everybody is on shock. Emails starts to come in from friends around the world that for whatever reason were supposed to travel in those days.

Two days are passing and the first bewilderment transforms in annoyance, on the third day I could feel the increasing illusion of wanting everything to go back to normal.  People were even denying the evidence.

I heard comment from people. I was stomached by it. I kept breathing calmly, taking care of my sweet dad suddenly victim of a mild form of ischemia  and surely hiding myself in the mountain. I am tired of the narrow minded  of my friends and other people in the valley. Everyone pretends to know better, even of what is happening inside of you, better then BBC news and other reliable sources, better even then God. I choose to be silent and organize my trip by train.

My 13 years old nephew was supposed to fly for a school holiday to Ireland on Sunday 18 of April. The travel agency told the school teacher to go to Milano Malpensa despite the official warning and announcement that all the airports were still closed. The kids had to get up at 4.30 am to be told by the bus driver who was supposed to take them to Malpensa to go back home to sleep. The trip was canceled. Did they not know that before?

What an eye opener to never forget how vulnerable and dependent we are.
Finally after 5 days of waiting I took a train from Bolzano to Amsterdam and after a 15 hour train ride I was able to reach home and fall in Driek's arms.

An interesting observation and personal experience on this train ride. The people who was stranded around Europe and trying to get back home were sharing some of their adventures. We bonded with each other beautifully, helping each other and bringing it out the best in us.Those who were on the train for short business trip untouched by the volcanic explosion and consequent difficulties to return home  they were not interested at all in our story, showing instead a lack of empathy and simple kindness.

Human heart.... how marvelous and surprising that is.
It is in fact true that danger and pain brings people closer, as it is in fact even more true that indifference is the graveyard of one's heart.

But after all the flowers are still blooming, the busy life of Amsterdam is continuing almost forgetful  of last week's discomfort, my dad is in the hospital and my heart is preparing for the inevitable.


Throughout it all I still breathe in and calm my body, mind and soul and I breathe out and smile
to the mysteries of life and wonders of mother nature.

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posted by Milena at 3:17 AM 1 comments

Glorius Easter to everyone

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Splendor and glory to the risen One,
his face is luminous of thousand candles
blessed be those who feel his sweet love

a caress, kind, generous into your soul
the certainty and tranquility of His gentle presence
the serendipity of an immense treasure
a richness of within

once you found this love
you will never be the same
and
you will never be afraid

your flight will take you where you need

and

I am gratefully 
still flying.


Milena 3 April 2010

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posted by Milena at 1:57 PM 1 comments