This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.

My red snowshoes

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Finally the time arrived to wear my red snowshoes and walk on the mountains of my valley.

Up and up I go and it doesn't matter how much I have to walk down, always much more difficult for my injured knees. And when I am utterly alone my heart rejoices immensely. I had few days totally in solitude and few with my mother.

Let me tell you:

There is nothing like walking on snow
surrounded by the immense silence
your thoughts can stand still for a brief moment
nothing disturbs the tranquility of mind
especially if your conscience is at ease.
The color white calls forth purification.
I keep a prayer in the small place inside my heart
to hear His voice.
I do feel a little closer to Heaven.
And true happiness permeates every cells of my being.

My sweet mother walking on a snow covered lake (Lago di Tret, 1160 m.).
She walked 160 kn last August on a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela (St James of C.) without wavering a bit.
She is like a child being able to come with me and enjoy nature in winter. She never saw the lake in winter. I keep telling her to keep silent and listen.
I guess it is hard to have a daughter who is like a zen monk, but by now she is used to my unorthodox lifestyle and silence.
In one week in the mountain I didn't wanted to see anybody, I left for the last day the hellos and goodbye to my friends.

Sitting on the little tiny island in the middle of the lake.
Below is how the lake and the island looked last Autumn.

Labels: ,

posted by Milena at 4:58 AM 0 comments

8 January 2010

Friday, January 08, 2010

Night at the alpine house Dorigoni- National Park of Stelvio-

I will just say this

We bloomed
in Spring

Our bodies
are the leaves of God.

The apparent seasons of life and death
our eyes can suffer;

but our souls, dear, I will just say this fortright:
they are God

we will never perish unless He does

by Teresa of Avila ( 1515-1582 Spain)
translation from Daniel Ladinsky

There is very little I can say today as I celebrated my almost death and certainly rebirth in silence and in deep prayer and gratitude. No words can convey the profound impact in my life of having touched even just briefly the Hands of the One we love.
So I decided to remain still today and float with my body suspended in salty water. I have been starting working in a new place where besides offering bodywork and massage we also have floating cabins. See (Koan Float).
My body has been so smashed and broken in so many bones that the experience of absence of gravity brings such a sense of sweet peace which permeates every cell of my body and favors a descent into my inner world or as you may, a flight into an endless sky of calmness . Thoughts are dissolving and when they reappeared on the front of the mind I can't really follow them. Just as it happened that extraordinary night on the 8 of January 1984.
Everywhere around me was dark, it was in fact late evening on a road without any lights. The sound of people screaming and cars stopping was far, far away from my consciousness.

Suspended between worlds. On one side such a divine peace and quietness, a feeling of being lovingly held, on the other side noise, pain, fear of having lost my body. I don't know how long it lasted. I only know I woke up 5 days later.

Here I am 26 years later telling the story of my experience after a car hit my body 100 kmh and threw me up in the air for a flight of 50 meter hitting badly the bushes below. Back to earth. What was not broken on the first impact broke in the landing.

And here I stand strong and tall with a knowing that yes, my body almost stopped functioning and I was almost ready to leave this shore,
but my soul never stopped breathing,
seeing the light and the calm joy of being Home.

Since then my longing is just a fire that burns away all veils
and carries me gently to that place of peace I once tested
and I know to be within me.

National Park Stelvio

Labels: ,

posted by Milena at 8:06 AM 1 comments