This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.

New year message

Monday, December 25, 2006

posted by Milena at 1:45 AM 0 comments

"Like a soldier" by Johnny Cash

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The "this and that" of my blog.

Today is dedicated to Johnny Cash and in particular to one of his songs:

Like a soldier
With the twilight colors falling
And the evening laying shadows
Hidden memories come stealing from my mind
As I feel my own heart beating out
The simple joy of living
And I wonder how I ever was that kind

But the wild road I was rambling
Was always out there calling
And you said a hundred times I should have died
Than you reach down and touch me and lifted me up with you
So, I believe it was the roads that I was meant to ride

I am Like a soldier getting over the war
I am Like a young man getting over his crazy days
Like a bandit getting over his lawless ways
I don’t have to do that anymore
I'm like a soldier getting over the war

There are nights I don't remember
And there's pain that has been forgotten
And a lot things I choose not to recall
There are faces that come to me
In my darkest secret memory
Faces that I wish would not come back at all

But in my dreams parade of lovers
From the other times and places
There's not one that matters now, no matter who
I'm just thankful for the journey
And that I've survived the battles
And that my spoils of victory is you

I am like a soldier getting over the war
I am like a young man getting over his crazy days
Like a bandit getting over his lawless ways
Every day gets better than the day before
I'm like a soldier getting over the war

I want to dedicate this song to all the survivors of every war, the one with guns and weapons, and the one against the inner demon. Maybe more insidious, more cruel, depriving of the most incredible gift: the joy of living, the freedom to be fully oneself.
It is a song of freedom, a song of redemption, a song of love, a song of gratitude.
The country singer and songwriter June Carter was the beloved wife of Johnny Cash. She was the one who "reach down" in his drug dependency, touch his soul and lifted him up.
The song speak by itself and foremost speak immensely to me who I feel in many ways like a soldier of the many battles that life put me through.
I am also saying:
"I am just thankful for the journey
And that I've survived the battles
...and every day gets better than the day before"

Of course his voice was unique and unforgettable. Cash sang breathtaking songs of heartache and survival with a voice that was deep and full of real life. He evolved from a self-destructive drug addiction to the iconic Man in Black facing the devil inside, and learning how to walk the razor-edge between destruction and redemption.
His personal transformation is to me very well expressed in this song and if you want to enjoy more of his music and know his story the movie " Walk the line" is depicting very well the fall and the rise of the pop star life.
For once an happy ending.


posted by Milena at 11:33 AM 4 comments

Review of "Passage to America" by Max Brecher

For lovers of conspiracy theories this is a great book to read.
For lovers of truth that is also a great book to read.
For someone who wants to know what went on behind the curtain Brecher is providing a great work in unveiling many of the dark secret in the US government and also the Vatican church, although he was refused an interview with, at that time in '89, Cardinal Ratzinger unless Brecher would submit all of his questions in writings, months in advance.
Max Brecher is interviewing sixty persons for his facts-finding research. Including most of the official involved in the case and some others who were supposed to execute the "dirty job" of either killing Osho or even worst to bring down the city in the desert. Towards the end of '85 a bloody invasion of the ranch was practically inevitable, says the writer.

Having joined the sannyas movement at the end of'85 I only heard stories from friends who were at the ranch, from Osho himself speaking in Poona 2 about the Ronald Reagan's America and what I read in the international newspaper. So I made up my own mind and opinion which finds some common ground with the content of this book.

The author did a great job investigating so many people directly involved with Osho's arrest and the endless prosecution that the sannyasin had to undergo in their time in Oregon. Although the author maintains a tone of neutrality it is obvious that more then once is on the side of Osho, protecting, defending, even assuming things to save his honor, to rescue his name, to paint his image with the color of innocence.
But as far as I know he was never a disciple, more of an amateur of Osho teachings. In that I lack the salt and the personal experience of someone who lived through the Rajneeshpuram time. He is disregarding both Hugh Milne and Kate Strelley book as if only what he writes is the only truth.
The approach to his book is definitely journalistic, not to take away anything to this work category, he shows very little understanding of the most delicate dynamic of a life with a Master.
But, after all, he states that clearly: "....there can be no doubt, reasonable or otherwise, that there was a conspiracy of the United States government and nearly every breathing official on every level in the States of Oregon against Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and the city-commune of Rajneeshpuram". And he succeeded in demonstrating the facts.
The book ends with detailed reconstruction of Osho's last appearance life in Buddha-hall on January 17 and the burning of his body on January 19.
"Life in the ashram went on with a tangible sense that Rajneesh hadn't gone anywhere, that death was exactly what he said it was: The greatest fiction."

I was there all through the night holding my belly after a surgery I had just the day before, feeling empty in my body, heart and spirit. Yes, indeed, life went on even without Osho, maybe for me for too long.....,till I left Poona in '96.

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posted by Milena at 7:23 AM 0 comments