This is what I will write: some thoughts, some stories, some of myself. The way I see the way of life. It is just me, my views, my opinions, my way of saying, my way of writing. My spirit, my fire, my love and the freedom of being myself.
Labels: Miracle of Love
posted by Milena at 7:41 AM
"There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way." Buddha. I am a free mountain spirit, hence the name mountain girl. Born in the high mountains of Nord Italy and living in A'dam below the sea level with my wonderful husband Driek. "A sense of vastness from a mountain top. The sun is resting behind the immensity of His presence, and silence is the sound of your heartbeat."
10 Comments:
Oh My God Milena..I had no idea, just read all parts of MoL...I am very impressed and touched. I truly think you should consider writing a book.
I have never known of anyone in a cult (past or present) and always wondered how it was...this is sociologically and psycologically highly interesting. But mainly, it really did touch me you went through all that being as strong as you are, as caring and as loving. Well done, I can only applaud at your decision of being yourself and telling this story to the world.
loads of love, Andrea
Thank you Andrea. Your words are encouraging.
From a friend of mine who wishes to remain anonymous:
"Well said Milena, and well put. I have been coming to terms myself with the MOL chapters in my life, and what you wrote was very helpful.Yes write that book."
Hello Milena,
I applaud your courage and thank you for speaking about MoL. The recording of the conference presentation is unfortunately not yet available from ICSA (AFAICT). Would you know an alternative way of accessing it?
A close family member is involved in a LGAT-type organisation, and I believe it would be invaluable to have your first-person perspective of these organisations.
Thank you very much.
Hello Mija,
Yes, there are ways of getting to the videos before ICSA finishes processing and publishing them. Please email me directly, you can find my address on my work site.
thanks for having the strenght and courage to go public. Although I have not experienced what you have in a group cult - I have experienced it with two female so called Gurus.
One started out to be my teacher, then my friend - and it ended up with me taking care of her 24/7 for 3 1/2 month which included a visit of hers to a psychiatric clinic and claiming to kill her self. Me even more feeling guilty thinking "what kind of a friend am I to leave her in a psychiatric clinic - more alone not being able to hold her abck to kill herself" The other was an english lady with a son who claimed (and still claims) to be an avatar. When I was with them there was this critical mind in me which you described. And that is what saved me. It took 13 years - but at last free again. Also I know the anger that you describe. That is an anger that is felt in the heart (not mind) - a rightous anger that tells you "Beware, take attention something is very wrong here". Their manipulation was also via guilt, via my love to GOD, my low self-esteem and self-confidence. Whenever I was about to leave the one served another horror story of my past lives where I had either harmed her or her son (I always knew that we have to have lives on the so called dark side in order to experience everything, but the was she did it was really persuasive.Very subtle). The other one would deeply question my feelings, what I am aware of, my ideas. Both would harvest on my faults. Both knew me inside out and abused my good hear (and my financial well being and so I lost a lot of money)
And both would always get me by my love to God. Like with you, I always thought "if I would do more of this or that - then God would love me". Today I know that God loves me - no matter -even if I just sit on the sofa and do nothing.I have remembered past lives where I had done all the Gurus have said. Saw myself scrubbing the floor, be a perfect assistent, kneel to ask for forgivness. My thoughts were "if I only do what they say - then God loves me.If I do not question anything-then I will go back to God. They have done it and they have envisioned God. So I just have to do what they say."
The only thing that happened is I LOST MYSELF entirely, becoming a perfect servant.
And then I saw lives where I followed just HIM within myself. And that is where I found HIM. (Or it the DIVINE). For my path is to trust my feelings, my intuition and to know that spirituality is to be lived whereever you are with whomever you are. God is in each and everyone of us. And each and every one of us can talk to God. His answer is within us in deep silence.
And what you describe of the voice of Kalindi reminds me of once hearing the voice of Durgamayi Ma (Cologne, Germany) - it just freeked me out.
May God give the strength and clear sightedness to each and everyone on the path back home to recognize truth from falsehood.
I hope one day to have the courage to go public as well - I guess I might have found it here. I have the strong feeling that some of us - the ones that break free- are here to help others find their way through the new age joungle
Have I healed totaly - no not yet. But articles like yours give me the strength to go forward another day in trust that everything will be fine
I would like to close in citing Mary Summer Rain "Whispered Wisdom":
I heard the adulations as the Exicited hoards of people rushed past me.
Did I hear them murmur that the Christ waws over there?
Had my Advisors been wrong on the foreseen timing? Surely I would know if this was so
I observed thousands flocking about the gentle speaker. More and more came running
Standing far back I waited to spy the one who instilled such intense adoration and honor
And when the crowed lowered themselves on bended knee, my soul gave jolting shudder
For at that horrid moment did I see the one standing tall above the crowd
as he spoke his gentle words my spirit did see his serpent tongue. Did no one else see it?
With his arms upraised in holy blessing my eyes did rest upon the sntrichrist's disciple.
my advisors had not been wrong
and with a heart that felt as ice, I slowly, very slowly ... backed away
Thank you whoever you are. You said:
"Have I healed totaly - no not yet. But articles like yours give me the strength to go forward another day in trust that everything will be fine"
I say : By telling your story you are "healing", you find more trust in yourself, you raise above the victim and you truly live as a survivor. Freedom start from within and to be totally and completely your true self.
That to me means also free to tell your story.
with respect and appreciation, Milena
I was in mol argentina:
Hola milena: lastima que no se ingles, pero me gustaria que lo tradujeras paras vos y para los visitantes de tu blog
Estuve en mol dos años. Yo me acerque al grupo por que me puse de novia con hector pena uno de los miembros de la casa comunitaria aca en argentina.
yo estaba mal en esa epoca y el me invito pagandome el workshop de tres dias de duracion
Al principio no queria saber nada pero como sentia algo por el, seguia yendo a meditar.
Me presionaron para que hiciera otr workshop, y recien ahi me enganche un poco con la tecnica GMP.
Pero yo veia que habia mucha competecia entre ellos, mucha rivalidad. y me molestaba mucho tambien que siempre se referian como "nosotros" y "los otros" Cuando en realidad todos somos iguales.
Lo que te puedo decir es que yo solo tome lo que me sirvio, o sea. no senti que me dieran amor, sentia que yo solo era un ingreso monetario mas para los talleres., pero si me sirvio para acercarme a Dios y sentir que el esta siempre conmigo.
A los siete meses de noviazgo, se rompio la relacion y ellos me decian que la unica manera de superar ese dolor era seguir yendo ahi a meditar todos los jueves, pero yo no me sentia conforme osea.. yo puedo entender que una relacion se rompa pero no eso de ir y decir que el ego me impedia estar bien conmigo y con el.
Debo rescatar algunas tecnicas que aprendi ahi, pero te vuelvo a repetir, solo tome lo que me servia y nunca los vi como seres especiales.
Como termino mi relacion con mol? muy facil, una discucion con hector, (miembro de miracle y ex novio mio) y el me pidio que no le hablara mas. tambien fui insultada por el en esa oportunidad. Nunca mas supe de ellos hasta que Marianne una maestra espirutal me mando un mail para preguntarme como estaba yo y par ainvitarme al intensivo que se hacia en buenos aires.
La mande practicamente a la mierda. Y tambien mande mail a algunas persona del grupo diciendoles que todos apañaron un acto de violecia y que habian escondido la cabeza en la tierra para no ver los defectos que habia en el grupo.
Por suerte milena, yo no perdi ese contacto especial con Dios, leo miuchos libros espirituales y pude crear una relacion distinta con Dios a la que tenia cuando estaba en el grupo.
Te mando un beso y me entere de muchas cosas de mol gracias a ti.
sonia
Gracias Sonia.
Your experience is the experience of many. It is healing to talk about it and I thank you for sharing your story in my blog. I can read spanish quiet well, but I can't write.
If you wish to write me privately you find my email adress on my working website:
www.energychairmassage.nl
Un beso dalla bella Italia where I am for all summer, Milena
Dear Milena
You are a hero and warrior for me and I hold you dear in my heart.
Recently, another layer of cult cleansing hit me. It is hard for me
to acknowledge the deep and lasting effect my involvement with MOL
had and has on my life.
I praise you for suggesting Hugh Milne's book because it opened my
eyes more than ever before to the insanity of a tight cult structure.
Your friend S
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