This book from Kate Strelley, offers a very in-depth exploration of the various mechanism and tactics that were going on in the Ashram in Poona during the time she was there from '75 till Bhagwan left to America.
There has been so much critic against this book dismissing in a cheap way, because the author was, previous to her involvement with Bhagwan, a drug addict. Despite those very questionable critics I personally find that Kate looked and wrote, about her life back in the Ashram, with the eyes of someone who could see "the ultimate game" behind the surface of what it appeared. For that I acknowledge and appreciate wholeheartedly her writings.
I can only recognize for myself so many of the thought reform and strategy that were consciously or unconsciously applied in my time in Poona 2. The only difference is they became more sophisticated and therefore not so easily detected.
For anyone who wishes to understand deeper not only the marvelous relationship between a Master and a disciple but especially the underlying message, the imposed belief system and the manipulation that goes on in the name of freedom, this book is one to read.
The author recalls her life not only in her position as one of Sheela assistance and then friend but also in how she perceived the power games that were insidiously entering one's mind.
So much evil has been said about Sheela, that it was redeeming for me to read how this woman was after all another victim of Bhagwan' s charisma and a part from being the biggest bitch-by words of her own mouth to Kate, back then Avibha- also a sensitive soul who got lost in her own world of power and fame.

His ways won over our heart and silenced our mind.

Hardly anybody could resist the charm and persuading message of Osho, definitely not a seeker who was waiting for a man just like that. However in the guise of his incredible philosophy of life and death much psychological harm took place.
In this book Kate is exposing her perception of how things were, how she could see Bhagwan not only through her disciple eyes, but naked in his vulnerability and also in his controlling attitude.
Kate wasn't much at the Ranch in Oregon, nevertheless her testimonial of what she witness and experienced during the sannaysin American adventure is worth reading. There may be events or assumption about the games of the Ranch that she exaggerated or didn't quiet happen like she tells. I wasn't there to judge the events myself.
Regardless her interpretation of what she calls the rise and fall of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh this book provides a unique background for self analysis and helps to point the view not to the victims of the American events, but how the victim were indeed the artificer.

With why and if we go nowhere.

I read this book only recently and I wonder how my decision to be with Osho could have been affected if I was reading back then in '87 when it came out. By that time I was already living my life totally in bliss of being in the Ashram with him surviving the Ronald Reagan America persecution.
I was not questioning back then. I had a chance to live my dream with him and so I did. I spent the last three years of his life in the garden of the Beloved.
Of that I am tremendously grateful.
However in my prospective real growth doesn't come without true awareness, and to be able to look back at your life and re-examining why we took certain choices and why we joined a certain group brings forth a deeper understanding of yourself and foremost a love and respect for what we put ourselves though.
And I am talking for myself.
I have been trying to contact Kate Strelley, unsuccessfully. If anyone knows if she is still alive and where I can contact her, I will be pleased to know.

Lightening, your presence
from ground to sky.
No one knows what becomes of me,
when you take me so quickly.

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