There is friendship and there is friendship. And then there are true friends. All of them come and go.
In my years as a sannyasin and with Miracle of love, friendship was what the spiritual world was about. Very few are those who I now feel close to me and I can call friends.
I want to talk about one of them and how special he is to me. Although we both were involved in the Miracle of love organization we hardly had anything to do with each other back then. That I think is our luck. We met in our healing journey on recovering from the madness of the lifestyle in the Miracle of love group.
I open my heart to this amazing "German boy". Especially the last 13 months had brought us very near in our soul journey that almost no day passes without an email exchange. That is the only way our friendship can take form right now because of the circumstances of his life.

Despite the amount of betrayal and pain I experienced in this area, I simply am grateful of being able to still touch someone's life in an encouraging way.
This morning was one of those day when I felt blessed to have only one sincere friend in the whole world. I was honored by the words he wrote to me and as I was reading, meanwhile drinking my homemade cappuccino, one tear of joy rolled down my eyes.

Below is our last exchange

Hi T,
I received your letter with the description of the waterfall. We may
go there sometimes although it looks very crowded. I like solitude
and I dislike very much touristic places, but I read that going up to the
top is not for everyone and mostly people stop before.

It is an ongoing process the healing in our life. I also believe that
at one point we have to let go of any belief we may still cling onto.
Psychology goes so far, therapy and New age staff also, meditation and
the art of living in the moment, watching the breath, able to let go
and appreciate the gifts of life, preparing to meet sister death,
is I think what can take us behind the limited mind with all of his trauma,
conditioning, wrong thinking and habits.
So let it pierce and let it move and rock my baby to the swings of your
radio into your innermost secrets, your fantasies, your daydreaming.
Feel the beat and know that on the other side of the world a small
insignificant Milena thinks of you and sends you so much love. It may
be just a small human love but it is colored with autumn leaves and is
warm of a tender heart.

Yesterday I received a museum card valid a year long, as a birthday
present from Driek's parents. I can just pop in in all the museum in
Holland and stare just at one painting and then leave again. So I
just came back from van Gogh Museum now and I bought a little postcard
for you of the painting I was staring today. I will send it my dear so
that you can keep dreaming and soaring high in your soul.
Kiss, Milena

His reply:

I would love to go with you to a museum and just hang out, watch the beauty and let it sink in for a long time. I can't wait to get your card!!!! I can't write much right now, because the email minutes run low, but I wanted to thank you very much for your email and the wisdom in it. Your insight helped me today, as I'm stuck in a low because of this stupid situation. It is so frustrating to sit in here, depending on a lazy attorney that is simply asleep. I could scream, although have to sit in my cell and work through it.

You are by no means small, you are a powerful Italian woman with a loving, passioned heart. Your love and intent moves mountains and your gentle, sweet caress enforces life on primal levels... Most of all, you are a wonderful, loyal friend I trust with all my heart. That gift, Milena, is very precious, because it gives me hope and creates a gateway for me to overcome the pain created by betrayal and lies. How could I ever trust somebody again, without your help? Thank you!!!

Any waterfall can be a destination of our future hikes, solitude and stillness is my longing as well. Tourists are not desired and not necessary.

My heart is slowly rising to a spirituality, or understanding of my own. It is a love, a bridge that belongs to me and I'm happy because it rings true inside of me, honors the people around me and spreads joy. No path to follow, just my inner compass to peace in the company of my friends and children.
I love you and Driek! Share all the beauty you see with a thought of me, your friend T.

Sometime ago he wrote a poem and asked me to post it in my blog.

Hi sweet sister,
here is a poem I wrote this morning; interesting that it came out with a German title and English text.


"Being born here
Living there
Going nowhere

Running from the past
Blinded by the future
Missing out, about today

Moving fast, though soooo slow
Really--Standing still

Digging deep-deeper-very deep
Consumed in desperation
Burrow; with the soul on fire
Asking, where is it?
Where is the ...
Is it Christ, Buddha, Allah or WHAT
Who, in earnest, has the key?
unlocking the gate,
from this place of utter Nothingness.

PLEASE, take me out of here,
aus diesem Niemandsland.

Aug. 08 Thomas

I edit this post  in August 2010. The man who I thought was a real friend didn't behave as such after exiting prison.
But life still goes on......for the better.

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