27 September 2011.

Thanks to the Lord, to my parents and to Driek

For this special day I was hoping to be on a remote island with nobody to be seen and the calm tranquility of a blue sea. I was blessed to have my dream fulfilled.

On a very small island near Rhodos, I prayerfully swam in the crystal clear water, kissing and gently caressing the sea. The silence, the immense space and the wonderful colors of nature around helped me to release the deep sadness and longing to have already walked on this earth for such along time. Meditating on living and dying, as each birthday marks a step closer to sister death. So I want to be able to welcome it and prepare for it and not going along in denial and pretending it doesn't happen to me.
It almost happened to me, so I have no illusion about the mortality of this life.

At times I do feel like hundred years old, and life seems so heavy just like the rocks of the mountains, but mostly I go around with an inner sense of youthfulness that never dies. Deep inside, I hold the secret of a second life, a second chance that no many can claim to have. The time stood still the evening of the 8th of January 1984, when I was 22 years old. Something of me died that day, and something else in me awakened for the first time and was born out of fire. Indeed I feel more like 28 years old, and who cares about wrinkles, they show the love and pain I had in life.
God blessed each and every day of my life and those who cared for me and love me.
I can only thank Him, each day.

And so I sit here in awe at the setting of this day.
no many words remain to speak, when the sweet presence
is felt in the small place of the heart,
call it Buddha, call it Jesus, call it God
just call for it and He will answer.

You breathe in and out 
you move through life trying to be free but eventually you will let go of everything 
even of that desire
like a wave disappearing in the ocean just to reappear again, never the same
the spirit guides my way
 the mountain gives me strength
and the sea melts my sorrow
only a sweet taste of gratitude smiles in me.
And I know that I don't know
What a freedom!

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