Livigno Italy 01-01-2009
I am grateful for this year 2009.

I started the 2009 with a feeling of immeasurable deep joy for the longing in my soul residing lovingly in His arms.
I continued by facing courageously the challenges of life. And there were many.
My dear friend Virendra passed peacefully away the end of January. I was fortunate to be a witness and support in his last weeks of his life breathing with him his last breath of life. Through his death I found a new friend, his wife Prerna ever so "dearly crazy". She and Valeria have been precious friends, in many ways we shared the same joys and losses.

I continue throughout the year to converse via email with my friend T while he was in prison. I opened up through him to the pain of the incarcerate. A minority who lives a life deprived of many basic human rights. Only this makes me mad. In getting to know the abuse that goes on in prison, I discovered a way to share the love that knows no steel bars but that is stronger then any limitations. I grew deeply and sank more deep into the well of my soul recognizing the smallness of my being. Yet in His presence I feel I am everything I can be. And a flower opens inside.

The incredible treks in my mountains built the strength in me to face any fear so that I could arrive at the "cross" on the top of the mountain, with an amazing feeling of worthiness and gratitude for the single grace to be here and tell my story. A story that continues into next year with a sense of wonder what will come my way.
I only know one thing that as long as I live I will always remember to breathe in and calm my body and my mind and breathe out and smile.
Smile at any circumstance that may tear your heart apart like it happened in summer when T. exiting his imprisonment turned his back to me and disappeared.

I always smiled maybe not so obviously on the outside but my meditation is to mindfully watching my breathing and mindfully watching and feeling my heart pierce through to let nothing else in then the fire of love.

Jesus, sweet Jesus has been a constant presence and a gentle companion to carry me in comfort and with him I cried so many loving sweet and salty tears.

What more can I ask then keep walking on with a gratitude for everything that this journey of life brings to us, blessed both the roses and the thorns.
Mount Macaion summer 2009

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